singing songs that nobody knows
by Inflorescences
Summary: "down in the forest, we'll sing a chorus" a tale of the marauders; before. then. after. drabbles & one shots
1. migraine

He knew what caused the mood drop, but somewhere deep inside him refused the answer. Curled, shirtless on a bare bed, the migraine pounded at his skull in time with the phantom throbbing of his wrists.

Turning over with a stifled groan, he covered his eyes only a fraction too late as they slipped open with the moment.

Lights flashed, sending fuzzy spikes of pain through the back of his head.

He curled tighter on the bed, hands quivering with the slightest shake that none of his friends ever seemed to see. He didn't blame them, of course. After all, his personality was naturally attention-grabbing (seeking, his mind wheedled).

They knew about the migraines, of course. Hard not too, when your friend spent a solid week out of classes because the migraines and auras got so bad he couldn't move, couldn't think, couldn't breathe.

The other stuff, though…

Well.

Let no one ever say Sirius Black was bad at keeping secrets.

His heart clenched, a duet with with the throb of his brain just behind his ears as the door slammed downstairs and Walburga was set off again by something or another.

Sirius drifted off to sleep, his hand clenched tight around the tiny scars no one but he would ever see.


	2. the judge

James knew he could be a bit of an asshole.

He knew that sometimes his pranks on Snape could go a little too far. He wasn't callous after all. Not a total dick.

But in his defense, Snape deserved it most of the time. Besides, the guy held his own just fine. Hell, when their fights got bad enough that one of them ended up in the hospital wing, it was a coin toss over whether it'd be a Marauder or one of the Snape's posse.

Okay, yeah, sometimes they picked at Severus when his chips were down, but hell, Severus retaliated. For example, when Sirius had light sensitivity from his migraines, Severus would shine a ridiculously bright lumos and claim it was an 'accident' if he was caught.

So flipping Severus upside down and showing off his underwear to a crowd was kinda over the top. It wasn't like…

James stretched his arms out from his spread-eagled position and curled into his side, pressing his face into the pillow. His wire-rimmed glasses dug into his skin, but he ignored it.

Damn, he hated feeling like this. Like someone had tugged his heart out and started poking at it. He could almost _feel_ the guilt wrapping around it like a cruel cloak and he wanted it out.

Maybe Quidditch would help. Or writing a letter to Sirius…

He hoped his mom was being nicer this summer. Not likely.

Remus was probably out cold…full moon was the night before.

Maybe Peter would want to come over?

Eh. For now, James would tear into his Transfiguration homework and try to forget the tear-stained face of his arch enemy.

It wasn't bullying if it came both ways, right?

* * *

 _I love James. I do feel like he did feel guilty about what they did to Snape, even though I believe it was both ways- a mutual hatred. I also believe both sides could go a little too far, and with the impulsiveness of Sirius, oblivious selfishness of James, loyalty of Remus, and meekness of Peter, the Marauders could get out of hand. Anyway, here's some of James' thoughts somewhere during the summer after fifth year._

 _"_ _I found my way_

 _Right time wrong place_

 _As I pled my case"_

 _-The Judge, twenty one pilots_


	3. message man

_"A loser hides behind_

 _A mask of my disguise_  
 _And who I am today_  
 _Is worse than other times"_

 _-Message Man, twenty one pilots_

* * *

Peter sat cross legged in the center of the kitchen, head leaning against the wooden island. Dishes stacked up haphazardly in the sink, grimy and crusted with week-old ketchup and what was probably ground beef.

He flinched as a particularly loud yell from his parent's bedroom was matched with the shattering of glass and a furious scream. Holding back the lump in his throat, he scrambled to his feet, snatching his wand off the counter as he headed out into the night.

He was sick of this.

Swearing as his foot bumped into an empty firewhiskey bottle, he held himself still in case the clattering drew his parents' attention. He doubted it though, but better to be safe than sorry. School was getting closer and Peter would be damned before his friends found out about all...this.

His feet found the path to the forest subconsciously as he hunched deeper into his sweatshirt. The night was warm and the waning moon was high and still rather full in the sky.

Today sucked. Well, most days sucked when he wasn't at Hogwarts and even then…

He was sure the others knew something was up with him but Peter was determined they would never find out. Peter just had to keep the mask up a little longer. Just until he was sure that they actually cared about him. Just until he was a little bit better.

The first sob surprised him. Peter shoved a fist in his mouth as he bowed over his knees, stomach pressing uncomfortably against his thighs. The grass was itchy and wet where he sat, but he didn't really care as another sob made his head begin to ache and stomach twist.

He was silent, even in the center of the woods.

God, all he wanted to do was just...not exist, for a little bit. It would be better for everyone, he couldn't help but think.

 _The morning,_ he heard James in his mind say, even though the words were directed as Remus late at night when he thought Peter, Sirius, and the other boys in the dorm were asleep. _The morning comes when the night is dead._

 _So make it till dawn and the night will fade._..Remus would murmur back. A mantra, he'd heard James call it once.

A letter fell in Peter's lap. He looked up to see James' great horned flap away.

Slicing it open with a pocket knife he kept on him, he scanned through the letter.

Yeah. Besides, Remus had things way worse than Peter.

He would answer whenever he made it back to the house. For now though…it was safer to stay outside.

Peter watched the stars, feeling worse than he had in a long while.


End file.
